Actually I have to correct you on one thing.. Today many hmong people don't marry early like they use to 10 years ago. (At least in my State (California) I, myself did not get married until I was 23. My 3 siblings are still single and they range between the ages of 25-29. Marriage has total different meaning to people today viruses 10 years ago....

As for interracial relationships.. It doesn't bother me. Maybe because I live in the most diverse city in the state of California and probably even throughout the US. BUT even if my city was not considered the most diverse city, I would still be for it. IF YOU ARE HAPPY & LOVE EM- KEEP ON DOING IT! COS THAT'S ALL THAT SHOULD MATTER TO YOU...

I'd go for interracial marriage, i dont think it has nothing to deal with not wanting to pass down your ethnicity but being with someone you love. It shouldnt matter what ethnicity you are just as long as you are happy with that person.

LOL...I guess I've been so defensive about the wrong thing because a lot of hmong people that I come across don't really like marrying outside at all, even if your partner is asian they stilll think "oh look at that girl, she's bad b/c her bf isn't hmong". I even got a, "he doesn't understand our culture and the fact that he is requried to help around when he's at one of our functions" from my aunite. Of course, she was proven wrong when my guy folded paper, made egg rolls, chopped meat and veggie without me having to say a word to him. Besides, my guy loves my family, whenever he comes to see me at school we always spend the days with my brothers. He treats them like his own family, he buys them food, cooks for them, and helps them set up their things. He's bascially a big brother to them. Whenever I worry about the amount he spends he always tells me, "we need to love our family, and we need to do as much as we can for them." So is it wrong to love such a person?

To yajthaugluv:

You are right, I agree, with today's generation we do anything to make us happy. We tend to be more selfish. However, there is a bad side to every relationship. The most important thing in any relationship is honesty and communication. There is no promise that, by marrying a hmong guy you'll get the emotional support that you need and in the end you would live happily ever after. If that were true, then hmong men would not marry as many wives as they do, nor would they divorce. I'm not saying that all hmong guys are bad, i'm just saying we're all human, we all handle our relationships based upon our experiences and our values. It has nothing to do with the fact that just because one is of a certain ethinicity or race would they be able to be more compatible with a certain person.

Isn't it more riskier and problematic with interracial marriage? Just what kind of language you speak anyways? Even communications with our own native tongue, there's never a perfect communication, wouldn't you say that it's even worst communicating with someone other than yourself? I'm just stating that it's even more blinding to think and believe that marrying your own vs marrying someone outside pose the same risk. One thing we all should learn is to anticipate problems on the long run. After all, we can never be to happy in our life, some things are just too good to be true.

I speak hmong and english. I know what the ups and downs are if i marry him, but I'm not going to back out of it even though it might be a bit different if i marry a hmong guy. You are right communication is not always perfect, but that doesn't mean that it's impossible to have a good relationship. It might be a bit harder when trying to explain cultuers and ideal moral and values, but it's still possible to get it through to him. I know that in the long run there's always going to be a problem popping out somewhere, but i'm not going to run away just because of it. And although happiness cannot occur everyday, as long as it occurs almost everyday then that would been good enough for me. I know that only happily ever afters happens only in fairy tales, and life is very different from story books.

hmm, don't be against interracial marriages, that would be very anti-american. most american immigrants act like many of you on this forum, regardless of ethnicity when they come to america... xenophobic and fear losing their culture. however, how many hmong married couples do you know that speak english 90% of the time, name their kids after biblical names (even if shaman) and dress american.

do you dress american, or do you wear your traditional clothes everyday? be honest with yourself. are you dressed traditional at this very moment? no? then you might be more american then you think.

besides, interracial might not be the best word you are looking for. do you support hmong marrying chinese or japanese? why? because they are the same race? what about if they are westernized?

i think what you mean is not interracial but marrying hmong only. i am miskaj and more traditional than many hmong i meet lol, since i am taking an effort to learn the language and enjoy culture.

so if you are against interracial marriages, you are going to face many unwanted problems down the road. are you going to disowned future kids for marrying a miskaj? is that love? is that life? is that what hmong is? or should you marrying someone who embraces you, loves you and also enjoys your culture?

ask yourself, how americanized are you, before picking on interracial couples.

do you drive a car? well... thats a nice american feature
do you use the internet and computer, or how did you type this?
do you speak english? hmm it looks like it!
are you dressed in your traditional outfit everyday or do you call it your "new years outfit mom makes me wear"?

can you write hmong fluently, can you even speak it fluently? can you speak it fluently to elders? yes? no? well if you can't, then do you have a write to complain about the quality of americans?

do you know your history? are you helping those stuck in laos, or sitting on a computer?

sorry but i support interracial marriages, but i do not support assimilation. it is up to you, as a person, student and even parents to keep traditions alive. once YOU stop practicing them, then you contribute to the disapearing of your culture... not because of interracial marriages. lastly, if you are against racism, discrimination and rednecks, then you should support interracial marriages otherwise you are a hypocrite.

i wanna marry a black girl....cause i like it ghetto

i am against interracial marriage because i believe people should stick to their own kinds. you may think im ethnocentric, racist or a dumb scum who thinks his own people should stick together and make one homogenous pile of people but i am just trying to tell you that interracial marriages don't work. interracial marriage is not what you think it is. you may think interracial marriage is okay if you can communicate, but what about cultural values and morals?

i guess the hardest part is cultural differences.. you see, my sister is married to a japanese/filipino/hawaiian guy. they have two adorable babies which i love and will continue to love until they're old because they're part of my family.

the only thing suck about it is my bro in law. in hmong tradition and culture, people get up early to go prepare and help out during family gathering. my bro in law thinks that getting up early is ridiculous and he doesn't understand why we have to do thing so early. he even said 11am is early. okay??????? it's almost afternoon, like get up and help the family.

second, he doesn't know how hmong culture work, when your parents take care of you kids while you go to work, you should appreciate and give them some money for taking care of your kids. you do know that child day care cost 700 or so. my bro in law got mad because he doesn't understand why my mon wants money. HELLO, my mom have a life too.. taking care of a child is hard and it's like having another job. my mom didn't volunteer to take care of their children.. my mom take care because they have work and putting in daycare eventually costs more than what my mom asked for. my mom only asked for 100 buck or so. that's one thing he doesn't know, and it's APPRECIATION...

third, everytime when my family have gathering, he always seem mad or he sometimes never want to show up.... but when it comes to his family, he expects my sister to be there or he expects everyone to be there.. like, WTF....

fourth, my sister and my bro in law have great communication, they speak perfect english, my sister is very fluent in english and she is like my english teacher because she often correct my papers. anyways, i thought they have good communication which they did, but they didn't realize that there are cultural differences.. my bro in law is americanized and my sister is traditional yet we're atheist. we're traditional like getting up early, respecting the elders, etc...

anyways, lastly, most interracial relationships dont last long because often time people prefer their own race or group. i've noticed that since there were two white guys who speak fluent hmong and they eventually exposed themselves that they don't want to marry hmong girls because ... BLAH BLAH.. they said they prefer marrying white chicks.

....etc.. long story.. anyways, i was shocked.. they speak hmong, hang out with hmong, dress hmong clothes and yes, they try to tell me my hmong culture is primitive.. they're mormon.. LOL..

anyways, INTERRACIAL MARRIAGEs don't work..... there are more to it but i guess some folks didn't care to read what i have to say.. oh well, if you read to this point.. good for you..

ahaha bye..

Just because your brother is that way doesn't mean everyone else is.

In your case, I'd say it's pretty much the opposite, usually it'll only work if both sides can assmiliate with their partners cultural values. I mean it's best if you learn about it from them and try hard to follow it, in exchange they'll try to get used to yours. I personally think they pretty much last long, just as along as you understsnd each other. You see, most interracial marriages work mainly due to understanding. I'm guessing the ones you put up as an example must be that your bro in law doesn't much understand the culture of your family.

i am for it. i am it.

to those who oppose, you are all close minded people.

i'm pure hmong. proud of it. what can i say? this is the
reason why i am not attracted to hmong guys b/c of
the close minds that they have. i understand the benefits
of being with a hmong person, but at the same time
the things in life that i have to sacrafice to be below
my husband, i refuse to do.

are you kidding me? white guys? ha! if i want a white guy
i'd go for a hmong guy first.

from my experience, both have no personalities.

NOTE: read carefully before you reply & respond.

Just so you noobs know:

Asian + Asian (dif ethnic) =Intrarracial.
Asian + Nonasian = Interracial.

My bad. Forgot to clarify on the top part.

nope.

same asian ethnic group + same asian ethnic group = non-interracial marriage

different asian ethnic group + different asian ethnic group = intraracial marriage

asian + nonasian = interracial.

hey whats goin on! this is not my first post but probably a topic that someone here may have encountered..... me and my girl have been dating for like 4 and a half years now and still after a long wonderful relationship her older folks are still like hatin on us? whats the deal right? I mean i know interracial couples are already a lil controversial but i had no idea to the extent..... I MEAN DAMN!! i practically watched her little brother and sisters grow up!! even her mom is cool with it now! She even likes me as do her other brothers and sisters.... every time i visit and their there all her older folks do is bad talk me and US BEING TOGETHER, i could see if i was a bum or something.... but i gotta say i have a pretty bright future (just graduated college with two degrees)... and not to sound conceited....but VERY handsome *wink* ....are they gonna ever warm up to us, i just hate for her to hear them tryin to bash our relationship! she doesn't deserve that!

people will talk because there is something to talk about. if you prove (in the long run) that you guys are perfectly happy and fine then they'll have to suck it up.
--
someone define race for us.
--
I think if two people can get along long enough to be married, have kiddies, have a life and still be together in their old age why not?

Can I laugh at you? Seriously where did you get that "fact"?

I'm Hmong and I gotta say you are not representing America very well. You are a very confused man so let me help you get some facts right:

1.) Whether you support or dislike interracial marriages does not make you Anti-American. To be an American is to believe in the ideas of Liberty and the Constitution. Even if you are a racist, as long as you don't violate the life, liberty, and property of others you can still be a great American. Being American is not about believeing in some Utopian dream of a perfect society, It's about freedom. The freedom to do good and evil as long as you don't violate the Life, Liberty, and Property of others.

2.) The Utopian dreamers' idea of a non-racist society via race mixing will never work because Asian Men will always get the short end of the stick. If you promote this Utopian idea using the power and force of government, (as it is currently being done in public schools and the government regulated media) you will only win over more hatred and racism.

The only solution to this problem has always been the "True American" solution to every problem: Don't make the government take any sides, leave the people alone, enforce the constitution and do nothing beyond it. If people wanna race mix let them mix, But if people want to live in separated communities let them be separated. So long as nobody violates the life, liberty, and property of others they can do whatever they want.

That is not only the American solution, it is the most practical and humanitarian one.

that was one of a great speech deadbutmoving. I agree 100%.

I personally would prefer marrying an Asian (Hmong) woman, and as long as the communities of our culture maintain good with the constitution, there are even better things to come, to everyone. but we should entitled to our rights and freedom and so.

For me it depends. Usually i'm for it but it depends on the context and specific circumstance. If say, a Hmong girl is married to a black guy... and if there isn't any problem i guess it's perfectly fine with me. But on the other hand, if say... the black man is "typical" where he doesn't work but sells weed. I wouldn't support this specific relationship.

Just like Bruce Lee... whatever works and fits for you go for it. No need to limit yourselve.

But for the most part, if seems as if these couples are outcasts. They suffer the sanctions from both sides of their family. For what? Just to be happy? But for now i don't know... it seems as if the consequences are greater than the gain.

Their kids may not fit well into this segregated society. I just hope those kids won't suffer much discrimination from both sides. In this case, if i was a mixed kid whose parent is both Black and Hmong... i might not know how to fit in with both Blacks and Hmongs. =(

Just like the Melting Pot Theory... it's not going to be fully intergreted and mixed. There are still going to be barriers and differences. If prejudice and racism exist within that relationship... i'm totally against it.

Regarding the thing about Hmong being a minority group that have always been subjected to discrimination... Despite Hmongs being already heavily mixed i personally DO NOT support interracial nor intraracial marriages within this specific group of people. But say, Vietnamese or Japanese? No problem since they are strong and have a huge population. I'm sure the community is much bigger for those ethnicities compared to Hmongs.

Depends on the individual more than the ethnicity as a whole for me.

Hmong parents don't like it because it conflicts with culture, and some are just racist or they have stereotypical views. But hey stereotypes are based on reality though. I have seen successful interracial couples but I have seen more failed relationships with fatherless half-Hmong children. Most of those are pretty ghetto relationships though.

if someone had married outside of their kind and if they later divorce, usually they'll have harder time finding another partner within their own kind. At least in the Hmong community that is... and about those fatherless half-hmong kids... i don't know what to say about them. I wonder if the Hmongs actually accept them into their clans. 0_o

Somehow i have this strong dislike for interracial/intraracial marriages simply because of the strong stereotyping and sanctions involved. Also, i feel that there are many insecurities involved too. Someone told me that it makes us Asian/Hmong guys look bad. Portrayed as weaklings. Unable to get the girls. This is simply a comment from someone. I just wanted to share it... but sometimes i do feel that way too.

I'm for it but I would rather have my daughter marry an Asian guy. Asian guy + Asian girl = very cute baby. That's what I told my daughter. But I'll accept any guy who treats her right and respects me & the hubby.

That's probably the reason for all the AF/WM hate...could it be a bit of jealousy and envy? Seems like all the guys going out there and getting it aren't complaining, only the sadass mofuggers sitting around feeling sorry for themselves are. You see alot of those Asian guys on AF.




They're cute when they're babies but when they grow up.....ugghhhh! jk I heard that on MadTV "Average Asian" skit lolzz.

I think other Asian parents rather have them marry Hmong than non-Asian though. I mean theres discrimination but it ain't that bad like how we go around non-Asian. Like around Hmong people other asian people dont get uncomfortable and dont know how to act since we all shop at the same asian stores and stuff with no probs.



more reason to go white, then you the man!

interracial marriages are all rigged

asian + white = to fit in, be accepted, be considered in the "white" class

let's just use that example

Sacrifice below? Only for women that are not proud of the role they were bored with can complain about being below. Asian women are so ignorant when it comes to the idea of interracial relationships and marriages. They think and believe that marrying some one different changes their role, having equality, but in reality they still have to kiss up to being subservient. The irony of this is that somebody for say, a white person, are probably only interested in a relationship because he thought asian women are submissive, he likes that...Something he can't get with white women.lol


And I agree, you had to be "white" class to be marrying white.lol

Take a look at all the hmong today. Many hmong children don't even know how to speak their language clearly. You say we need to preserve our culture but we have gang bangers, run away girls, girls who marry at a young age and get returned to a life they don't have anymore and guys who think this world is still a male dominate country. We are not in Laos! Our ancestors have been put through some tough times and we respect them for that. Most of our families came to the US to make a new living. They chose to come to a world where there is diversity. Interracial marriages are rising and pretty soon it's not going to be an issue anymore. I am for interracial marriages. I am hmong in an interracial relationship with an African American. He accepts and respects my culture and my family and so do I.

Seriously? Asian women don't just go for white men. There is always a reason to why they choose not to date or marry within their culture. Asian women might marry a different Asian, Mexican, White, Black or whoever. You can't just say that most Asians go for white men. (this comment is to the quote you replied to as well)

When one accepts to be in an interracial relationship, they already know what they are doing. Culture will always be in that mixed child. Actually have mixed children, they are least likely to be racists. They actually have a lot more knowledge than the one culture child. Hmong parents say the only reason is because they want to preserve their culture, but to me, I think they just don't want to lose face. And pushing their child into something they won't be happy with, they will hurt even more.

Hmong people are just stupid period.lol Which explains why we have such a high rate of divorce.lol

I think that regardless of how you feel about interracial marriages or relationships, can you help who you fall in love with? While I have never been in an interracial relationship and personally do not see myself marrying outside of my race, but believe that race has little bearing on the success/failure of a marriage or relationship. I think that it is easier if both parties are of the same race you inately understand the culture, norms, taboos, customes, expectations, and social and interfamilia interactions that exist within that culture. I think part of the difficulty of the interracial relationship comes from external factors, such as acceptance be either or both family and friends. If you have one or both family opposing the relationship, then it will be harder to make it work because despite what everyone thinks or feel, as a person, we ultimately seek approval from our families and friends for most things that we do in life.

So, while I am neither for or against interracial marriages or relationship, I do no believe that race in-of-itself cannot be blame for high divorce rates.

Further, what I notice is that with older hmong generation, it is a matter of saving your family's face, especially if you are a girl, that most married couples tend to make extreme personal sacrafices to stay in a marriage, such as being in a polygamous marriage or turning a blind eye to your spouse's infidelity. However, younger generation, being educated and integrated into a western culture, are trying to find a balance between traditional norms and the social culture of westernization. I think Hmong youth nowadays are less tolerant of infidelity and physical or emotional abuse.

Hence, until and unless our generation can balance the competing values of our past and our present, the future for hmong marriages will be fraught with difficulties. Even now, couples in our parent's generation are struggling to balance between the two ways of life and more and more, we are seeing older generation couples divorcing, revolting against the system, and hence, the shocking murder-suicide incidents that we have been seeing in the Hmong community.

But regardless, I believe that the key factors to making any relationship a happy one are mutual respect for each other, honesty, and fidelity. Let's face it, we want to be with someone that respect, support and understands us. We want someone that brings out the best in us.

I think that regardless of how you feel about interracial marriages or relationships, can you help who you fall in love with? While I have never been in an interracial relationship and personally do not see myself marrying outside of my race, but believe that race has little bearing on the success/failure of a marriage or relationship. I think that it is easier if both parties are of the same race you inately understand the culture, norms, taboos, customes, expectations, and social and interfamilia interactions that exist within that culture. I think part of the difficulty of the interracial relationship comes from external factors, such as acceptance be either or both family and friends. If you have one or both family opposing the relationship, then it will be harder to make it work because despite what everyone thinks or feel, as a person, we ultimately seek approval from our families and friends for most things that we do in life.

So, while I am neither for or against interracial marriages or relationship, I do no believe that race in-of-itself cannot be blame for high divorce rates.

Further, what I notice is that with older hmong generation, it is a matter of saving your family's face, especially if you are a girl, that most married couples tend to make extreme personal sacrafices to stay in a marriage, such as being in a polygamous marriage or turning a blind eye to your spouse's infidelity. However, younger generation, being educated and integrated into a western culture, are trying to find a balance between traditional norms and the social culture of westernization. I think Hmong youth nowadays are less tolerant of infidelity and physical or emotional abuse.

Hence, until and unless our generation can balance the competing values of our past and our present, the future for hmong marriages will be fraught with difficulties. Even now, couples in our parent's generation are struggling to balance between the two ways of life and more and more, we are seeing older generation couples divorcing, revolting against the system, and hence, the shocking murder-suicide incidents that we have been seeing in the Hmong community.

But regardless, I believe that the key factors to making any relationship a happy one are mutual respect for each other, honesty, and fidelity. Let's face it, we want to be with someone that respect, support and understands us. We want someone that brings out the best in us.

Still comes down to race being a factor in marriage failures since race pretty much says it all that we're different culturally and different with values. Yes, one can help who one fall for. Problem with people is that they allow their emotions and hormones to dominate their state of mind never thinking far ahead of their lives. Another words, they only live for the moment only and allow themselves to get involve with such a relationship. I really don't have a problem with interracial marriages but people these days are marrying for the wrong reasons where most of these outsiders don't even care about family customs or honoring her family system and yet, she still runs over to him.

All in all, I can only summed it up, one word, "stupid"... Not knowing whom their parents and families are, they think the state can better care for them. Even these og people fall for that, thus all the murder suicide we heard so much about.

There's nothing to balance about old values or mainstream values, the more people want to do it, the more problems they run to. It's not compatible! Marriage is marriage, people these days, see it as a game marital problems are always right around the corner.

lol yajthauvluv you see right through it im glad theres still wise man like you out there

i am of the younger generation and still hold the old mindset of against interracial relationship actually in fact i believe is what god had for us to stay within their own ethnic group otherwise s/he wouldn't create both male and female in each differ race or different ethnic for what purpose? to keep them from straying away from each other just like a pair of shoes meant to wear together not mismatch a sandal with a boot, boot with a heal, heal with a leather. anything out of their own group of people is 'desire' the desire for attention, the desire for wealth, sexual satisfaction and etc the list goes on whatever form it takes it is desire and all forms of desire leads to extinction in one way or another, just look at hmong people these day the interracial dating/marriage rate are so high we all know the end result would be extinction of our people, in these case i can care less about preserving culture as culture evolves with time long as the people still exist, im worried about the existing of our people. and honestly i am pretty sick of people using the same old phrase all the time that 'love sees no color' well id just like to say are these people speaking from love itself saying that? or are they speaking from their own blind sight? these idiot completely forget that 'desire sees no color' and worse it has no limit what a bunch of idiot. in fact these idiot mistaken their emotion for love, love can be controlled its a matter of willing to give or not, these idiot cling with emotion and lets it takes over their life.

asian + asian [different ethnic] is not inter-racial, it's inter-cultural relationship

so how about a chindian wouldn't that be interracial???

yes, that would be inter-racial

because it would be mixing a mongoloid with a caucasoid mix

fu-k interracial marriages. anyone who marries outside their race should just fu-kin die a horrible death.

^ why?

Mixed race children are not good because they have high instances of mental illness especially white barbarians and Asians. I'm not making this $hit up either, there have been studies out there which confirm this. If you don't believe me look it up yourself. white caucasoids have the highest instances of down syndrome and other mental disorders in this world. They also have high chance of obesity, heart related problems, skin problems and age the fastest because they lack melanin which keeps the skin tighter and more reslient. Mixing increases the chances of inheriting their diseases and genetic problems which many people don't want to deal with.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/...80817223530.htm
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/article756035.ece
http://health.usnews.com/health-news/diet-...sian-white.html
http://news.softpedia.com/news/Different-R...ses-44056.shtml

Every race/ethnicity have their share of "bad genes" and diseases. It's best to mix with people most distant from your kind. Too much mixing of relatedness

can lead to expressing of recessive traits.

There shouldn't be inter-racial marriages because there would be an influx of sexy people with a multitude of exotic features. Makes us feel so vanilla.

I'm neutral, but I think you brought out an important point..."He makes the effort to bond with them." I believe it's important to find a balance in interracial marriages. As a person who wants to preserve the Hmong culture, I think it is important that we, as Hmong, be true to our culture and preserve what is left of it even if it means that you marry out of the culture.

who you calling not good huh, wanna fight

I'm not against it but I think that people who do marry, should have some decency and respect towards Hmong culture instead of shutting it out. I rather see a Hmong girl/guy married to someone who observes and respect our culture then someone who shuts it out and become anal retentive closed minded racist hill billies.

so what is wrong with having a white bf or husband?

I think a lot of it can be attributed to discrimination. Because being mixed you have to earn respect from both sides a lot of the time, It can be a lot to deal with. I'm mixed and I wouldn't encourage interracial babies unless you're ready to raise a multiracial child which I find most people have no clue how to, because they know nothing about being mixed race. At the same time I wouldn't discriminate two people who decide to, I would just encourage them to educate themselves on the subject and understand it's not just them that their relationship is effecting.

You're right. I see that as a big problem. Folks that are mix do have to deal with a lot of social problems and they have a much harder time to fit in. It's even more devastating when both the parents split up or are divorced.