Vietnamese Tradition
A soldier in Vietnam saw a local man coming down the road with his wife behind him with a bicycle loaded with all their worldly possessions. The soldier asked him why he carried nothing but a cigarette and his wife had to push the bicycle alone. The man replied, "TRADITION".
Two weeks later he saw the same local man on the same road but this time she was in front and he was pushing the loaded bicycle. The soldier asked him what happened to TRADITION and the man said "LAND MINES"
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Eating Dogs
Two Vietnamese refugees have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, one of the refugees points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."
One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
Full Version: Jokes About Vietnam/vietnamese...
QUOTE (Nam Quoc Son Ha @ May 23 2004, 07:11 PM)
Vietnamese Tradition
A soldier in Vietnam saw a local man coming down the road with his wife behind him with a bicycle loaded with all their worldly possessions. The soldier asked him why he carried nothing but a cigarette and his wife had to push the bicycle alone. The man replied, "TRADITION".
Two weeks later he saw the same local man on the same road but this time she was in front and he was pushing the loaded bicycle. The soldier asked him what happened to TRADITION and the man said "LAND MINES"
====================================================
Eating Dogs
Two Vietnamese refugees have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, one of the refugees points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."
One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
A soldier in Vietnam saw a local man coming down the road with his wife behind him with a bicycle loaded with all their worldly possessions. The soldier asked him why he carried nothing but a cigarette and his wife had to push the bicycle alone. The man replied, "TRADITION".
Two weeks later he saw the same local man on the same road but this time she was in front and he was pushing the loaded bicycle. The soldier asked him what happened to TRADITION and the man said "LAND MINES"
====================================================
Eating Dogs
Two Vietnamese refugees have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, one of the refugees points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."
One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
lol @ the second part..
i dun understand the first 1.. care 2 explain?
wat a joke
QUOTE (ngo.ngochy @ May 23 2004, 07:24 PM)
QUOTE (Nam Quoc Son Ha @ May 23 2004, 07:11 PM)
Vietnamese Tradition
A soldier in Vietnam saw a local man coming down the road with his wife behind him with a bicycle loaded with all their worldly possessions. The soldier asked him why he carried nothing but a cigarette and his wife had to push the bicycle alone. The man replied, "TRADITION".
Two weeks later he saw the same local man on the same road but this time she was in front and he was pushing the loaded bicycle. The soldier asked him what happened to TRADITION and the man said "LAND MINES"
====================================================
Eating Dogs
Two Vietnamese refugees have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, one of the refugees points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."
One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
A soldier in Vietnam saw a local man coming down the road with his wife behind him with a bicycle loaded with all their worldly possessions. The soldier asked him why he carried nothing but a cigarette and his wife had to push the bicycle alone. The man replied, "TRADITION".
Two weeks later he saw the same local man on the same road but this time she was in front and he was pushing the loaded bicycle. The soldier asked him what happened to TRADITION and the man said "LAND MINES"
====================================================
Eating Dogs
Two Vietnamese refugees have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, one of the refugees points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."
One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
lol @ the second part..
i dun understand the first 1.. care 2 explain?
With regard to joke number one, the first part the man does nothing and walk in front while his wife carries the burden and he said it's tradition. The second bit the man walks behind her with the burden and she's in front as a cannon fodder. He called it tradition as well.
This is not typical of a Vietnamese man but anyway, it's a joke.
It's very hard to explain.
QUOTE (Nam Quoc Son Ha @ May 23 2004, 07:31 PM)
With regard to joke number one, the first part the man does nothing and walk in front while his wife carries the burden and he said it's tradition. The second bit the man walks behind her with the burden and she's in front as a cannon fodder. He called it tradition as well.
This is not typical of a Vietnamese man but anyway, it's a joke.
It's very hard to explain.
This is not typical of a Vietnamese man but anyway, it's a joke.
It's very hard to explain.
o gotcha...
.. it's not typical, but..wat a loser..lol
QUOTE (ngo.ngochy @ May 23 2004, 07:24 PM)
QUOTE (Nam Quoc Son Ha @ May 23 2004, 07:11 PM)
Vietnamese Tradition
A soldier in Vietnam saw a local man coming down the road with his wife behind him with a bicycle loaded with all their worldly possessions. The soldier asked him why he carried nothing but a cigarette and his wife had to push the bicycle alone. The man replied, "TRADITION".
Two weeks later he saw the same local man on the same road but this time she was in front and he was pushing the loaded bicycle. The soldier asked him what happened to TRADITION and the man said "LAND MINES"
====================================================
Eating Dogs
Two Vietnamese refugees have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, one of the refugees points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."
One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
A soldier in Vietnam saw a local man coming down the road with his wife behind him with a bicycle loaded with all their worldly possessions. The soldier asked him why he carried nothing but a cigarette and his wife had to push the bicycle alone. The man replied, "TRADITION".
Two weeks later he saw the same local man on the same road but this time she was in front and he was pushing the loaded bicycle. The soldier asked him what happened to TRADITION and the man said "LAND MINES"
====================================================
Eating Dogs
Two Vietnamese refugees have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, one of the refugees points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."
One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
lol @ the second part..
i dun understand the first 1.. care 2 explain?
Typical Asian males ... LAND MINES ahead.... his wife goes in front of him if anything happen ... the other part you have to figure it out.... Sad but true ... It happened in Afghanistan at least about Land mines
mmm mmm dogs
Here's another one:
So what are you smuggling?
Tuan comes up to the border between Vietnam and China on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"
"Rice," answered Tuan.
The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but rice. He detains Tuan overnight and has the rice analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure rice in the bags The guard releases Tuan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?"
"Rice," says Tuan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but rice. He gives the sand back to Tuan, and Tuan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Tuan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a noodles restaurant in Vietnam.
"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about..... I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"
Tuan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."
So what are you smuggling?
Tuan comes up to the border between Vietnam and China on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"
"Rice," answered Tuan.
The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but rice. He detains Tuan overnight and has the rice analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure rice in the bags The guard releases Tuan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?"
"Rice," says Tuan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but rice. He gives the sand back to Tuan, and Tuan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Tuan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a noodles restaurant in Vietnam.
"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about..... I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"
Tuan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."
QUOTE (TDscorpion @ May 23 2004, 07:33 PM)
Typical Asian males ... LAND MINES ahead.... his wife goes in front of him if anything happen ... the other part you have to figure it out.... Sad but true ... It happened in Afghanistan at least about Land mines
that's sad...
This isn't a joke but a real story:
Back in the communist days when villagers were oftern asked to aid the communist cause in jobs like gathering the support of towns and what not, there was this this job that needed someone to tell this small village about the goodness of Ho Chi Minh. So the commi's found their perfect candidate - a handsome young man from that village that was popular and quite large in statue / buff dude. The commi's though his appearance would do good for the presentation. Little did they know that this guy had never done anything infront of a crowd and had the stutters. So his jobs was to simply hold up a large picture of Ho Chi Minh and introduce who the leader of the commi's were. So the buff guy steps infront of a hundred or so villagers and sweat just explodes from his skin like the niagra falls. He stutters "Thu+a quy' vi.
d-ay la` la` la` a?nh cu? ha`nh
o o o kho^ng pha?i
d-ay la` cu. he^`
e^ e^ e^ kho^ng pha?i
d-ay la` a?nh cu he^`
a a a a
then he got dragged off the stage!
Back in the communist days when villagers were oftern asked to aid the communist cause in jobs like gathering the support of towns and what not, there was this this job that needed someone to tell this small village about the goodness of Ho Chi Minh. So the commi's found their perfect candidate - a handsome young man from that village that was popular and quite large in statue / buff dude. The commi's though his appearance would do good for the presentation. Little did they know that this guy had never done anything infront of a crowd and had the stutters. So his jobs was to simply hold up a large picture of Ho Chi Minh and introduce who the leader of the commi's were. So the buff guy steps infront of a hundred or so villagers and sweat just explodes from his skin like the niagra falls. He stutters "Thu+a quy' vi.
d-ay la` la` la` a?nh cu? ha`nh
o o o kho^ng pha?i
d-ay la` cu. he^`
e^ e^ e^ kho^ng pha?i
d-ay la` a?nh cu he^`
a a a a
then he got dragged off the stage!
whoops forgot his last line before being dragged off
i i i i d-ay la` a?nh Cu. Ho^`
i i i i d-ay la` a?nh Cu. Ho^`
on a somewhat related note, I just saw The Simpsons which showed principal Skinner reminisce about his Vietnam War days, North VN soilders surround him & say:
đi đi mau, đi đi mau
> 
> 
đi đi mau, đi đi mau
> >
The Vietnamese soldier serving in Cambodia, far from home, was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying:
"Regret -- cannot remember which one is you. Please keep your photo and return the others."
[U]
On a flight from Saigon to Los Angeles, an American sat beside a Vietnamese. American asked Vietnamese, "What kind of "ese" are you?
"Excuse me?"
"What kind of "ese" are you?"
"Excuse me, I don't understand what you meant."
"Stupid! Are you Vietnamese, Chinese or Japanese?"
"Oh! I am a Vietnamese."
After 2 hours. Vietnamese asked American: "What kind of "kee" are you?
"What? What do you mean by key?"
"Are you monkey, donkey or Yankee."
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying:
"Regret -- cannot remember which one is you. Please keep your photo and return the others."
[U]
On a flight from Saigon to Los Angeles, an American sat beside a Vietnamese. American asked Vietnamese, "What kind of "ese" are you?
"Excuse me?"
"What kind of "ese" are you?"
"Excuse me, I don't understand what you meant."
"Stupid! Are you Vietnamese, Chinese or Japanese?"
"Oh! I am a Vietnamese."
After 2 hours. Vietnamese asked American: "What kind of "kee" are you?
"What? What do you mean by key?"
"Are you monkey, donkey or Yankee."
QUOTE
====================================================
Eating Dogs
Two Vietnamese refugees have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, one of the refugees points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."
One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
Eating Dogs
Two Vietnamese refugees have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, one of the refugees points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs."
One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
lOLS..i get your dog one.=]~ buh your first one i still dun get it..? =]`
A Vietnamese couple who has been married for twenty years went to the wedding reception of a close comrade's daughter. During the ring exchange ceremony, the husband started to cry profusely.
The wife, surprised by her husband's emotional outburst, said, " I didn't realize that you have so much feeling to share with your comrade's happiness."
The husband replied, "No, you are wrong! That was not why I cried." He continued, "Twenty years ago, your father caught us doing it, and threatened that if I don't marry you, your VC father will put me behind bars for twenty years.
Weeping even louder, the husband said, "If I had just gone to jail, I would've been a free man by now. I made a big mistake. "
The wife, surprised by her husband's emotional outburst, said, " I didn't realize that you have so much feeling to share with your comrade's happiness."
The husband replied, "No, you are wrong! That was not why I cried." He continued, "Twenty years ago, your father caught us doing it, and threatened that if I don't marry you, your VC father will put me behind bars for twenty years.
Weeping even louder, the husband said, "If I had just gone to jail, I would've been a free man by now. I made a big mistake. "
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