How many of you can say that you've cheated (sexual contact) on your boyfriend/girlfriend and they don't know and you don't plan to tell them?

it is best not to tell..trust me if you do..it is over...but of course..you need to get yourself tested because it would be wrong to give it to your gf or bf

Gawd I'm only 19 and this is my first one. I think I'm more towards monogamy. But then.. you never know.

What she doesn't know won't hurt her , JK!

I see. So you are saying that people who cheat shouldn't tell. IF they do cheat, it's best for them to get tested for std's but not tell their bf/gf. so, what happens if after that person gets tested and find that they have chlymedia or even worse, genital worts...something the bf/gf can see if they go down.

Wouldn't it be weird if just suddenly she or he says, "I don't like you going down on me..." or what if they do go down and see the std? What excuse would they have?

Anyway, I am just wondering because I know a lot of vietnamese girls who cheat on thier boyfriends and don't tell them. Who knows, maybe their boyfriends cheat on them too and don't tell them. They really shouldn't be together but maybe that's just part of the vietnamese culture? (cheating but not telling even though both person are doing it...odd way of having a relationship).

Just wondering, but did a Vietnamese guy/girl cheated on you with someone else or something zena?

BTW, are you a guy or girl?

yah..to be honest..if you cheat and tell your mate..it might sounds good on paper...but i tell you..hell will break loose..it is OVER..but if you dont tell her or him...and he or she doesnt know about it..like jayson said..what he or she doesnt know wont hurt her or him...just be more nice to her or him now...just dont cheat again...and if you do...please wear a comdomn or a female condomn if your a female jk

I doubt that's the case.

it is very simple..if you want to be over then tell him or her..if you dont...then dont tell..got it? got it...

ok got it !

I'm a girl.

but, I knew a vietnamese girl in college who cheated on her fiance many times with an american guy (he was single). She never told her fiance and now they are married (her fiance and her). He'll never know.

Imagine if you were the guy married to this girl. You'll never know how bad you were cheated on.

That makes me mad. HOw could people be that way. I honestly think it's cultural. I'm not saying all vietnamese people do this but I don't think any other race would have the face to do that to their loved ones.

i am sure many girls out there cheat on their man when they say "oh it is girls night out honey" basically that means i am going out and cheat on your sorry @$$...

oh man , that girl is so messed up !! she cheated the dude with an american and now she married him <?> what a b!tch !!!

zena is also a b!tch. Don't believe her.

Don't throw your anger towards the wrong person. I know a lot of people (non-vietnamese) that cheat but they somehow feel guilty.

I had a really sweet vietnamese girlfriend in high school who was married and she would never do those things (in fact, she was very devoted to her husband...and I admired her for that). She even helped me break up with a jerk I was dating because he made a pass at her with me right there! My brother's best friend is vietnamese and he's got a girl he plans to marry one day (she's vietnamese too) and they are so sweet and kind. Then, my other brother is dating a cute vietnamese girl and she's really devoted to my brother too.

So, my point was to see if anyone would admit that they cheated and don't plan to tell their other half...and don't feel any guilt about it.

I'm glad you know where I'm coming from.

dont double post..read the guidline please

oic...I'm not vietnamese though.

Don't get mad. I know a lot of people cheat but that's not what I was asking.

I guess if I can't get a true answer, then it must be happening. I can warn my brother.

zena , i know how u feel but not all Vietgirls are like that !! i've seen some really sweet ones !!

zena is a white b!tch or a non-Vietnamese b!tch. WTF, this b!tch asked that if it is a part of Vietnamese culture. I am sorry but only Americans have no family values, b!tch.
b!tches play with b!tches that why u know so many b!tches.

Thanks. I guess I just wanted to reaffirm my belief that it's not vietnamese girls. That it could be anyone...even if I only heard that it was a vietnamese girl.

I don't know why you are gettng so upset. I just wanted to know if it was because the girl did this without feeling guilty. I even told my friend to tell her to tell her fiance but she didn't. So I was upset that she wasn't honest to her fiance.

If she was white then I would let it go (but tell the guy) becasue I know white girls are trashy like that but I always thought vietnamese girls weren't so when this happened, I just got frustrated. I am still upset at it. I mean, it's really none of my business but she's cheated on her fiance. I just feel so bad for him because he'll never know. It's like I know a secret about him that he'll never know.

That question was bad enough to dishonour our Vietnamese culture.

Trust me it is against Vietnamese tradition culture to cheat on anyone period. It is looked down in Vietnam.

It makes me mad too, but to say that Vietnamese women are cheater from one personal experience...do you have any reliable scientific data? Also do you live in America with one of the highest divorce and cheating rates in the world. Have you ever watched those cheesy "caught Cheating" reality show? I assure you that cheating is an evil that has spread to all societies and is not isolated to any one group of people.



Is she still cheating on him now? I would give him a hint and tell him to hire a detective to follow her if she's still behaving like that. Why didn't any of his friends warned him before the wedding? Poor guy.



Chill. She's obviously cares about this Vietnamese guy because she doesn't like the fact that his Vietnamese girlfriend is cheating on him. She is not a b!tch. She is acting like a friend. The Vietnamese girl who cheated on her husband is the b!tch.

anyway zena, whats ur ethnicity ?

I am a Vietnamese girl, and I've found this offensive. This kind of problem happened all the time in human society, no doubt. Don't go too far to conclude that it's a part of Vietnamese culture. Again, cheating depends on individuals and has nothing to do with any Asian cultures in general.

Who the F wrote that? Cheating is cultural in Vietnamese society? Who the F wrote that? Let me read this again...

WTF?

i agreed with yah..in every culture there are people that cheats..so you cant just point at the Vietnamese Culture and said that we are bunch of cheaters...

** Zena** <------she is the one that said that

It's zena, a new poster, Dai_Viet. I wonder what's her ethnicity

i think she is nguoi mien

Personally I have never cheated on anyone of my ex girlfriends.

Uhm....yeah, maybe

hmmm...do you people consider holding hands with another girl while you have a gf already..is that cheating?

Sort of, cause basically this is a lead on, and you know what lead ons lead to

Only holding hands? Eerrrh... I don't know, depends on how you hold her hand though.

But I'd never cheat on my girl-friend even if I see another girl who is prettier than my girl-friend. Even if I don't like my girl-friend any more, I'd still not cheat her or tell her to break up. I just can't tell my girl-friend that I want to break up. I just can't, I'd feel bad for her.

If she wants to break up with me, then she better has one damn good reason to say that.

LOL.

holding the girl's hand while eating at a restaurant..then afterward hold her hand again while walking along the beach..if that is considered cheating..then i cheated on all of my girlfriends

hmm... depends, which hand is she holding ?
(ok ok xin lỗi, couldn't resist)

Thank you so much for clarifying this. I appreciate that you actually just give me an answer instead of thinking other things.

I don't know if it's a culture thing. I just said "I THINK" it's a culture thing. That doesn't mean it needs to be backed up by facts. It's my OPINION. And, I'm asking for other's opinion.

From a couple of people who actually helped me out by answering my question, I DON'T BELIEVE that's it's cultural. It was an individual person doing this to her fiance. I am concerned because they were ASIAN and VIETNAMESE.

AND, Like I said, I do have vietnamese friends and my brother is actually seriously dating a really cool vietnamese girl. I know for a fact that she would never cheat. And one of my other brothers has a vietnamese friend (from childhood) who is dating a vietnamese girl and they are the funniest, fun couple who come around. They've been dating since high school (like 3 or 4 years ago) and they've never changed. They're very cool people.

AND YES, I do care about the vietnamese guy. He's going to have to live the rest of his life thinking he's got the perfect wife. That pisses me off. I just want so bad to reveal the truth. But, my friend doesn't talk to them anymore.

Almost seems like you're hoping its them so you have another excuse to lash out.

She's actually Hmong btw.

zena, if that guy is your friend then I think you should find a way to tell him about it, cus if I was in his shoes, I'd like to know about it even if it hurts.

Actually, the girl who cheated on the guy is a friend of one of my friends. I don't know the guy at all. But, becasue my friend told me about his friend (the girl) doing that to her fiance, I told my friend that if I ever see them together, I'm going to tell him with his girl standing/sitting next to him. I want her to know that she can't treat her guy like that.

And thanks for being honest.

Errhh... I am guessing zena is about 25+, just by the way she writes.

You guys/gals are funny. We should just stay on the topic.

Anyway, I really appreciate the ones who responded kindly and maturely. You've helped me to understand a frustration that has been bothering me for some time.

For those who like bashing, I hope that you do come around to realize that when someone asks a question, that the kind thing to do is answer it without assuming negative things so that the person can understand and possibly learn something about themselves or the culture they are asking.

Thanks.

You already knew the answer before you asked or created this topic, do you?
So why do we have to answer that to you??

cheating is cultural

You indirectly wrote that on purpose. Otherwise, you are not mature enough to conclude whether or not someone is mature.

What would I have an answer to? I didn't know if it was a cultural thing because I'm not vietnamese and I don't know the culture like one would if they are vietnamese.

For instance, if it was a cultural thing...and I'm referring to the cheating and not being shameful about it, then someone would have responded, "I cheated on my boyfriend/husband and he doesn't know about it and I don't entend to tell him". BUT, I would need more responses that were similar to that because I wouldn't believe it if only one person said it....who really would anyway?

OF COURSE, no one said anything along those lines but a few did say that it was wrong and WAS NOT a cultural thing and so I took their word for it. So, what's left is a semi angered emotion toward the girl who did do this to her now husband, and a sad feeling for the husband...and also, a realization that culture doesn't play a part. It could have happened to a korean, thai or even hmong...and I'm pretty sure things like this does happen in other race that I'm not aware of.

THe topic is the way it is because, how else would I get the attention of those who actually do it and enjoy it? IT just so happened that this topic attracted the wrong group of people. I wanted to hear from those who've actually done something like that otherwise I would have wrote the topic differently.

YOu didn't have to answer anything I posted. You chose to.

Do you think that culture like this one exists ?
---
if it was a CULTURAL thing...and
I'm referring to the cheating and not being shameful about it
---
That's a good question you ask.

I think you have known it was wrong since my second reply.

I am sorry for calling you a b!tch, but you need to apologize.
Otherwise, you still deserve that word.

Some people may like that. Just like in some culture, a man can have more than one wife. That's not right (in my eyes of course) but to others, it's just the way things are in their culture.

If some cultures do this and it's okay, I would still not like it. But, that would be their culture. So what. I'd rather be educated than be ignorant and talk crap.

And apologize for what? I never said anything mean towards you. In fact, I don't know anything about you to have made any type of negative judgement. So, tell me something I said specifically about YOU that was negative and I will apologize.