i just wanna share my story.

last year, my junior year, i moved to ansonia. ansonia is a pretty small town here in CT. in the high school, there are only six of us asians. 3 chinese, 1 lao girl, 1 viet guy, also a junior and myself, a filipina.

last summer, before my senior year. i saw lan, the viet guy from school in chinatown, NY.

in the beginning of senior year, lan and i became close. he started giving me a ride home after school everyday. soon after that, i started hanging out with him and his friends. i was particularly close to mike, his bestfriend. lan has noticed this, and he was jealous. lan had to break off whatever was goin on between mike and i. he told me he liked me, and he asked me out, but i only see him as a friend.

we agreed on it, just to be friends.

one saturday night, lan had a party with his friends and his cousin. lan's cousin, linh, was rather cute, and i was immediately attrated to him. after the party, everybody went home, except me. we spent the next few hours getting to know each other. he told me he was attracted to me when he first saw me, in chinatown. he was with lan that day but i din't notice him. he told me he noticed me as soon as i entered the room. there was a mutual attraction.

i din't want it to be just a one night thing. i gave him my number, but was not expecting him to call. what does a good looking, college guy want to do with a high school girl like me. but i took my chances, just hoping he'll call me, and everything will work out well for us.

6:00 am, the sun was about to raise, i decided to go home. he drove me home. right after he dropped me off, as soon as i went in my back door. he got a text message from him, "i hope you got home find, i wanna see you again."

we spent a lot of time together after our acquintance. he became really close to me. he became really special to me. he became my world. every kiss was special. every touch was lovely. every caress was affectionate.

i remember the first time we said i love you. we were rolling on the floor kissing... he picked his head up and asked me,

"do you love me?"

i answered,

"yes, i do..."

and asked him,

"do you love me?"

and he asnswered,

"yes, i love you"

what i felt that moment was such a wonderful feeling, being held in the arms of someone who loves you, it was just breathtaking.

every moment with him is just memorable. he always remind that he cares for me, that he loves me, that i make him happy, that every moment i spent with him is purely joy and felt exactly the same towards him.

everyday i am thankful that he walked in to my life. the joy he gives is immeasurable. you have know idea!

we were happy to have each other, but as for lan, he was not happy at all. because of lan's jealousy, he told linh that i can't be trusted. lan made up sh*t about me.

i was faithful to linh, but he left me believeing i was unfaithful and untrustworthy. i didn't have the oppurtunity to prove lan wrong.

i want linh back, so bad. i love him, truly love him.

what should i do?

Unfortunately there are many Vietnamese guys who do that... make up lies about the girl who refused them. Vietnamese guys here in Toronto have a reputation for doing that. It's so low and disgusting! That's why not many Vietnamese girls in Toronto date Vietnamese guys. They tend to go with Chinese or Korean guys who treat them better.

Anyways, I personally think you should forget him. If he truely loves you, like he says he does, then he should stick by you. In fact, he should defend you. He's got no backbone if he's so easily affected by false rumors. Try to forget him. He's not worth it.

i tried, still trying, but it just don't seem to work. i just can't forget him & just move on.

lol, for real ?? or girls just wanna try out something new !!

If it is meant to be, you and Lan with re-unite.

Remember you are a young woman and you have your whole life ahead of you.

have you tried calling linh to explain what happen? if you have and that doesn't work, you should try and get all three of you guys together and then confront lan about it while linh's there.

i used to live in toronto for awhile and this "reputation" you're speaking of, i never heard of. maybe i should say that vietnamese girls have an insecurity and jealousy "reputation" that cuts off guys penises. if you really want to know how much better chinese and koreans will treat you then why don't you head over to china and/or korea to see for yourself first hand. never heard of all the sexual abuse cases of vietnamese brides and/or factory workers that occur a lot? it's time that you get off your high horse.

You have the portential of a romance writer. I think forget the guy...he trusted his cousin more than he does you, so seems like there's no trust in this relationship.

You ma'am are dumb.

Agreed.

one, linh does answer my call. two, both of them are ignoring me.

why u saying that? u scared coz ur secret is out?

but to think, lan is linh's cousin. who will u trust? your cousin, who's like a brother to you, or a girl, you just met.

what do u mean secret is out , when i say filipinos are dumbs !! would u agree to that ?? well of course there are some dumb filipinos but not all are, lets get back to Viet guys issue, not all Viet guys in toronto are as dha whatever says, she talk about us Viet boys as a whole , of course we would be angry because me myself is not like that even though i dont live in Toronto !! im not against Viet girls going out with Chinese or Koreans but her excuse is so lame !!

before i went out with linh. i told my friend from australia, i like this vietnamese guy. she told me, viet guys are, said to be, playahz.

He didn't play you.

The thing is he chose his friend over a girl. That's international guy rules. 2
He probably laying on his bed thinking of you right now. He's probably stuck in the middle. Chose the girl he likes, or forever be bothered by the other dude and be called a b!tch. Wait awhile. He's probably fighting it in his mind or something.

you should cut off his d!ck like other vietnamese women does..

yeah i know, i was just in line with what ddha was sharing...





good idea , hahahaha! but i'm not vietnamese. hehe.

Yeah that's what those Vietnamese girls said right before they entered the Ebay storage facility to be shipped off to Taiwan to be treated very "well" by Taiwanese husbands who purchased them. lol

Whoa too much drama for your momma.

Your too good for him girl, go find yourself a white guy...............................................Jkidding about the part of finding yourself a white guy that is.

Your still young, don't worry there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Watch what you are saying. I would saying something mean about you but I feel lazy today, except we Viets are better looking than Chinese and Korean (both of then put together), both guys and girls. And we treat our girls well, so stfu.

EDIT: I hope » jOie gets warned for the multiple postings.

oxy-moron

Um..I didn't say anything that contradicted.

Not sure if you are trying to start some $hit with me.

look if u r sure that he trusts u and u trust him then go with ur hart and convince him that all LAn said was not true... if u have doubt in ur self that it wont work out in the end then juss forget about the jerk...

he isnt worth it if u have doubt

You just said that you treat viet girls well then you go ahead and say that you wanna say something mean to ddha(who is a viet. girl) and told her to stfu.
That does contradict don't you think.

She's viet? damn. Just because she can't get a Viet guy doesn't mean she should start hating lol.

I am not from Toronto, would you date me although I am Vietanmese ? I remember you posted a reply saying you would only date Viet because of cultural affinity

BAck to the topic. The same problem could happen to any Korean , Chinese or White cousins loving the same person. Generally, Vietnamese men respect their wife more than Korean or Chinese do.

1 Corinthians 13 6
Love
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres...r you sure it's love?

if ure fren told you that $hit came from the sky, would you believe her?

n no offense but you sed sumthing like "who would u trust? ure cousin or a girl you just met?"

Okay, so you jus met eachother yet claim to be in love. seems to me ure some love-crazed fool. dont put too much worth into one guy that gave u a good time. move on for christ's sake. i wud understand if you were long-time partners but this is just some sensationalized bull.

advice: build a bridge and get ova it. plenty of fish in the sea

YEAH, I SHOULD FIND ME SOME WHITE GUY. JOKE.
YEAH, THEY'RE ALL RIGHT. I'M TOO YOUNG THIS DRAMA.




YEAH, I SHOULD JUST FORGET ABOUT THE "JERK!"




I WAS TALKING ABOUT HE'S COUSIN, WHO IS LIKE A BROTHER TO HIM. SINCE BIRTH, THEY'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER, AND ME. WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR QUITE SOME TIME, BUT NOT SINCE BIRTH.

If thats you in your avatar, you won't have trouble finding volunteers.

:shocked: salamat po.

hindi problema hahanapin mo ng perfectado lalaki.

LMFAO !!!

Nar seriously i feel sorry for you...

please, don't be. i'm so over him. i have realize, AF made realize, i was being stupid. i should have just move on.

people here in AF helped me realize that linh din't really love me because he din't side me. and lan is not a real friend at all.

I was in similar situation. This girl was really attracted to me, but at the point I couldn't decide whether I wanted to be with her or not. I love the single, independence life and I was crazy busy with academics. Well, one of closest friends a chinese guy whom I confided in also liked her a great deal. She didn't like him because she wanted me. Well, I told him all my doubts and insecurities and he went to the girl and told her my feelings and probably added some extras to make me look extra bad. Well, he comforted her and for awhile she wouldn't talk to me. The worst part is now he's dating her. Now the girl and I are still friends, but I still feel really betrayed by my ex-"friend."

Love is like war. What some people will do to win the affection of others. Still, I think it worked out for the best because now I found someone I really like, and I'm not going to let another bastard screw me again with this girl.
------------

As for your problem I think you already solved it, but I'll throw in my experience how I dealt my with my own stress. Well, it did hurt for awhile after I found out she was dating the bastard, but I decided to move on. I've forgiven him (but I'll never trust his @$$ again) and I also want her to be happy. If she was meant for me, we'll be together in the future. I've also just moved on and found someone else. You'll be amaze of the human capacity for love. There are so many different and compatible people out there that can make you happy. Don't let one person overshadow the rest of your life. Just chill and move on.

if he loves you.. he'll trust you..

well , is that what u call a best friend !! even though fighting over a girl is stupid but in that case , i would whoop his @ss for being such a b!tch

If you read my post again you'll noticed that I didn't "talk about Viet boys as a whole"... I said "many" Vietnamese guys do that... I didn't say they all do. Many viet guyz in Toronto have a reputation for trash talking about the girl who turned them down... so much so that even Chinese girls knows about it too.. not only Viet girls. But these are just some guyz in Toronto. I didn't say Vnese guyz everywhere does this kind of thing. So I don't understand what you mean by saying my "excuse is so lame"... what excuse? I didn't realize I was making an excuse

How long have you lived in Toronto? I've lived here all my life and I've seen this kind of thing happen so many times to so many of my Viet girlfriends... my sister too. So I could really relate to Joie's story and I understand the hurt she's feeling... being betrayed by someone you thought was a good friend... yes, it's happened to me too.

As for Vietnamese girls cutting off guys penis thing... ???? ...what are you trying to point out to me here? I don't understand how it relates to Joie's story
Besides, I think the majority of us Viet girls can't even imagine doing that to someone.. it's disgusting!

And lastly, yes, I've heard of the sexual abuse cases of Vnese brides and/or factory workers. But those girls are in a totally different situation than the one I'm talking about here. I'm talking about how Chinese and Korean guyz treat their Vietnamese girlfriends... not bought wives.. or ugly old perverted Chinese or Korean bosses in dirty factories exploiting poor Vietnamese female workers.

Get off my high horse? I'm not on a high horse.

Yes, they were "purchased"... as I said earlier, this is a totally different situation. Being "purchased" and being a "girlfriend" is totally different isn't it?

Hi Sideley!!! Haven't seen you posting in a while. Miss ya.
Of course I'd date you.. in a heartbeat!

Wow, you have a good memory! Despite all the attacks I'm getting here, I still prefer Viet guyz over Chinese and Korean... even though I find Chinese & Korean guyz so goodlooking hehee

Actually, I'm happy to see the guyz here flaming me for my comment. It shows that there are lots of good Viet guyz out there who doesn't do this kind of thing. Unfortunately there're not in Toronto. Haven't you noticed that there's no Toronto viet guy trying to defend himself here? So sad.. maybe I have to move.

Jealousy and meaness is somewhat burnt in Vietanamese heart, I mean, those who are trditionnally educated and live in VN just can't stand they can lose something or someone, so they sabotage what they have lost to prevent anyone else from benefitting , You know.

"được làm vua, thua làm giặc".

I used to be in a relationship with a VN girl who come from Vn to study fashion design. At the beginning, her open-mindness and interest in design was appealing to me, we experienced good time, but her selfishness had grown up along with time. Her French was poor, she can not speak English either but I did not care because I think I could live everywhere she wants to live and I put her happiness on top. Besides, I can speak english, french and vietnamese so I considered going back to VN to live with her, close to her parents (!).
I helped her a lot, I took care of her when she was ill, I was her arm, her leg and her mind ...But one day, she turned angry just because I didn't give her a ride to the airport, then she began to dig out all that I said and she interpreted in a wrong way. We decided tobreak up. She then started spreading around bad rumours about me...Given the small size of the VN community here, I am quite sure that all her disses had reached everybody.

However, I swear that I haven't told a sole negative word about her to anybody else than my closest friends and You, who don't have any contact with the VN community.

From this experience and what I have heard around about traditionnally educated people, I think I'm done with these demanding girls.

Love is granting the possibility to say no ! Love is not slavery !

Amen to that. I dated enough pretty girls --> it was fun while it lasted but hell, too much maintenace. Now I look for cute understanding one.

I'm afraid about women from Vietnam though. Some of them always ask about the size of my wallet...when they do, I run like hell. I don't mind spending money on sweet girls, but the gold diggers are a no no. Gold diggers and social climber I play them and leave them--> there's a song that said you can't make a "hoe a house wife." Don't try. Stick with the sweet ladies. Don't talk about how much money you have, or what school you go to, or what your family does...until you've known them for long time. That way you can filter out the honest people from the bad. I find that successful, smart and talented women are usually a safer bet than uneducated women. Of course, smart and talented women are often time not the prettiest. I guess you have to decide what you want in life.

I just remember a VN video I barely saw lately (though VN videos aren't my cup of tea)
, it was a show organised by Asia entertainment to present vietnamese misses from the USA and Western Europe. Most of Those grown up abroad girls have expressed their view of a perfect man: someone who exclusively cares about them... I am frightened. As a husband, it could be considered but such a demand is excessive for a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship.

Understanding is key in love :genius:

The video is mua hei roc roi(my vietnamese is bad). It was like a beauty pagent. Some of those mix vietnameses were gorgeous and so were some of the pure viets. I wept when I saw them. And I think Sidley you're being too rough. Those were the sweet girls (some). They are idealistic. Men should be realistic, but it's okay if your partner still believes in the "perfect love.' That way they can be innocent while we protect them from all the pit falls with our knowledge. I think it also gives the guys more control. It's the women that have experience that you should be careful of. They make guys fall in love with them, take their money, and dumb their asses (with finesse so that some guys will continue to chase after them like desparate dogs). Sweet, idealistic girls are easier to deal with beacause they're easier to read.

I remember, it was "muà hè rực rỡ" .

You 're quite old fashionned in relatonship: You prefer a sweet woman who accepts you to drive her life ? An almost puppet ? There are a lot of these in traditionnal societies waiting for a lad like you.

Smart girls aren't necessarily those who are prone to leave you at first weakness. YOu give her protection, loyalty. She gives you sentimental protection, understanding, she soothes your social and personnal wounds. She is aware of your weakness and try to cope with it or to work it out with you.... A lot left to say but not someone for whom you decide everything.

Yeah, I told you, I'm not good with my Vietnamese. I don't want a completely traditional woman though. Perhaps I give the wrong impression. I want one that breaks down and have fun once in while. And no, I don't want a puppet; puppets are dumb women. Have you ever met a cute girl who likes to party, who's smart, chic, and still have some element of the traditional in her? She is a sweet, sucessful woman who just want an honest relationship. She wants room to advance her career and personal ambition but also have someone that she can rely on for advise and help. That's what I mean when I said "sweet" and "understanding." Don't say this type of woman doesn't exist because I've met one already.


I think you also misread me about smart girls. There's a different between "smart" and "experience." Smart implies talented women with refined taste. "Experienced" refers to devil women who are expert at the game of love and knows how to twist a man's heart and empty his wallet. You'll see what I mean when you meet one. They are fun to play with, but just don't love them. That's a no, no.

[quote=herosword,Mar 9 2005, 05:15 PM]
I admittedly misread your post.

You're a lucky guy , you have found your ideal woman. I wish I will find the one that matches the description you gave above because I share this idea.

By the way, May I know whether your sweetheart is Vnmese or not ?

The girl I dated was quite successful in her career in VN and was ambitious (that's the reason why she attracted me) but she wanted me to devote myself to fuel her ambition and ignored my personnal ambition...

OH man, I have to wipe away all my regrets...

I'm seeing my sweetheart, but we're not "official" yet; I don't want to rush things. She's Korean. Unfortunately there's not a lot Viet girls here at my university . I love ballroom dancing, and that's how I met her. We waltzed and rumba together and there was attraction.

Sideley, I think such a woman is rare, and when you see them hang on to them for dear life. In the meantime, I don't see why you can't enjoy the "experienced" women also. They are fun and they will sharpen your skill...just don't fall in love .




Yeah...hmmm...that's difficult...but just hearing you talk, I think many women will find you attractive so don't sweat it. The best way to forget an old love is find an new one. It works. Just don't rush into a relationship, it just cause more heartbreak. Chill...and hunt your prey...when you find an attractive woman with all your desirable attributes...pounce and don't hold back . I'm sure you're doing fine and you probably have more experience than me.