I think I'm good at telling or understanding when someone's interested in me but my assumptions I could be wrong.
When I start to feel like a guy is interested in me, how do I indirectly tell him I'm not interested so I won't have to stab his heart with words of rejection?

Some things I've done in the past was..
Don't reply back to his text messages too much.
Don't let his questions (that he seems to ask on purpose) lead into a string of long conversations.
Don't start conversations with him if I don't have to.
If he wants to go hang out, tell him you are busy or just not in the mood.

Do I sound messed up?

Another question. What are some ways a girl can tell that she's being rejected indirectly?

All the things youve been doing all sound good to me, not messed up at all. If he isn't retarded he should get the hint.

To your second question, he does what you do. :P But you will most likely just get ignored outright. Your feelings will not be considered.

DAMN.. men are freaking devils.
I care about the guy's feelings even if he kind of creeps me out.

I think some guys take forever to get my hints that it worries me that they'll soon ask me out.

never be indirect when it's about something like this. you don't want someone to hang on and play guessing games with you. things build up, like feelings, in the long run when you do things like this and eventually there will be more harm done. tell the person directly you are not interested, but be modest. if you do what you do, it only sets a bad impression of you. unless, you are the type of girl who likes to juggle with guys and their feelings.

I don't juggle with guys and their feelings. I'm not that type.

Most guys don't tell me they like me but I have a feeling they like me because of the kind of conversations they try to bring up, the kind of questions they ask, how they compliment me, how they keep texting me, how they want to hang out with you alone, etc.. but like I said in the first post, I could be misreading all this. So, because I'm not 110% sure and because he has never admitted to me, I can't just go up to him and tell him directly, "Stop doing this, please. I'm not interested in you." If he tells me he likes me and asks if I like him, I would probably have to be honest and tell him directly that I don't.

Again, since these guys don't have guts or are not ready to tell me yet, I think I should show them through my actions (like not being responsive/involving all the time) that I'm not interested in them so that they won't have to ask me later on if I want to get with them because they would already know from how I respond that I might not be interested. I think being indirect early on too can save your friendship with that person. I don't want to reject someone with direct words and not see him ever again because he was hurt and embarrassed, and if I do see him ever again, it'd be really awkward for the both of us.

maybe, it's not that the guys don't have guts. they probably just want to hang out or spend time with you... getting to know you better. it would be nonsense if they were to admit any feelings about you directly to you at this point. I know I wouldn't, no matter who or how the girl is or what the matter is, nor any other guy would, otherwise. why would you tell them that? I don't see anything inflicting through texts or otherwise. unless, they are harassing you, stalking you, or otherwise. I believe you missed the part where I was pointing out to you to be modest. you can go on saying that, but it would only set a bad/negative impression on you. any guy would be like, "wth is wrong with this girl?" yes, it shows you may have some sort of personal problem. it shows maybe you're, having a breakdown, throwing a tantrum, or otherwise. if you want to be friends with them, then tell them directly. seem to me you are enjoying the attention of those guys, and maybe you are curious in what you have lined up for you. apparently, you have several options to choose from, whatever reserves you are trying to make out of this.

I think you're making a lot of assumptions about me.

I did say in the very first post that I could be all wrong, misreading them.

When a guy texts you several consecutive days more than ten times a day about unimportant things like, how's your day, what did you do, where are you, how'd you like the hang out last week, can you go shopping with him, have you eaten dinnr yet, etc. wouldn't that make you kind of .....wonder why they're asking you these questions? Even your own girl friends don't care to want to know those stuff about you. It's nice that they're asking you those things.. but if you're not interested, you should be careful not to lead them into thinking you are interested in them that's why you don't mind spending all day texting back and forth because they're worth (very special) it.



I know, that's why it's good to hint to them early on that you're not interested before you have to give them the words later on that'll stab them right in the heart.


I did read that. I didn't miss it. Isn't hinting someone modest? You're not directly rejecting, why? Because you're afraid of hurting their feelings so you want to consider that and try to find a nicer way to hurt their feelings less without even have to mention "I reject you." (I know, not in those exact words.) If they're smart enough they would understand your hints, they would let go of you on their own and back off and you both can still be friends. However, if you confront him and reject him, even if you do it modestly, he would let go of you because you had directly asked him to and he would back off but the chances of you both continuing to be friends might come to a stop because it's just so awkward now after being turned down. It's much less painful when you understand that's it's not going to work out and make the decision to stop liking her than it is when she tells you to stop liking her.


Man, you make me sound stuck up or something... If you have forgotten, I take dating seriously. A lot of people call me old fashion and have argued against me not too long ago. Remember? I don't want to mess with guys or let their emotions mess with them because they like me if I'm not going to take them seriously.. I just don't see a point.

Just gush over a guy you actually like, so he would know that you're not into him.

you do more than my friends do. they always feel bad when distancing themselves from a guy is the only way for him to get the point. then they whine to me about it. ever since high school ive had experience dealing with these guys. usually white creepos. some methods ive used is hang out in a group and make that guy feel unwanted. or hang out with the girl a lot and show the guy the girl has no interest or time for him. a few times i didnt bother and just told the guy that she wasnt interested and to back off.

for friends, im happy to help if i can. but i have far more respect for girls that can handle their own issues properly. honestly, if a guy is bothering you all the time, tell him to fuk off. if its such a big deal about being mean and you wont, then you dont deserve to complain. just deal with it.

@koj, do what you want to do. although I can try by putting in my opinion to see if any will side with you, but I've come to the conclusion, there won't be anything ever you and I can come in terms with. you seem to drag on, if not, lead on to more twists and turns in your points, and often times it only makes it look like what I convey to you gets out of context...

so again, back to the topic, hinting is not enough. or you are not hinting effectively. also, hinting can be misread by others. that's why it's better to cut to the chase and be direct. you're not going to do any harm in the long run, like the way you want it.

if he doesn't want to contact you further, then wouldn't that be good for you? less stir up of complaints from your end, right? if he doesn't want to be a friend, then it's a "I can't be just a friend." dilemma... besides, why do you still want the guy(s) to contact you every now and then to ask you those questions?

Make out with his best friend or brother. He'll get the point.

It's very selfish to ignore calls/texts because you're shirking your responsibility (to reject someone you don't like) back onto him, and probably using it later to paint yourself as some kind of victim of incessant calling/texting. Girls might think they're being nice when they use the ignore tactic, but in reality, they're just being selfish and cowardly because instead of dealing with the confrontation of rejection, they're just leaving the guy in limbo.

@POPULATION1

I hope you don't think I'm always disagreeing with you on purpose. If you think so, it's not true. I really do disagree with you on this. The times I agree with you, I don't have to respond because I agree with you. So, I do agree with you sometimes and when I don't, I will give my opinion.

Moving on..


My second post

So, they do work. Some take longer than others, but I wanted to know of other ways to make a guy know that I'm not interested.
Maybe I should have said WHAT ARE OTHER WAYS TO HINT HIM. I never in my first post said my strategies never worked, or if they worked but I think a lot of people assumed that I meant my strategies aren't working, that's why I asked for help. Sorry for not making that clear.

Have you forgotten that I've been saying most guys don't tell me they like me but I have a feeling that they do. So, I have no reason to be direct with him until I know for sure, that it came from his mouth, that he likes me. And I did say in one of my posts...



if he doesn't want to contact you further, then wouldn't that be good for you? less stir up of complaints from your end, right? if he doesn't want to be a friend, then it's a "I can't be just a friend." dilemma... besides, why do you still want the guy(s) to contact you every now and then to ask you those questions?
They're not just random guys. They're my friends and we have mutual friends. They didn't meet falling in love with me. They met me as friends first then they start liking me. That's why I don't want to lose the friendship them and me. If they were strangers, yeah, I wouldn't mind not knowing them anymore.


@ZDRAV:
I don't ignore them all the time (as I have said in the first post) and when I do it's not because I'm being mean on purpose, it's because I worry for myself that he might get the wrong message about me for giving him 100% of my attention, replying to every single little messages he sends me.


@MIDNIGHT:
I don't think I'm whining. I was just asking for more help. Read the response I made to Population1 in the paragraph that starts with "My second post."

lol i said my friends complain when they dont have the heart to do a single thing.

well, if you want help, id say tell them flat out you arent interested and this is getting awkward.

Wow, I guess some people still want to be liked even when they're rejecting someone else ..
Some call that sending mixed messages.

When you have a guy sending text messages like he has an interest in you, you had better tell him in no
uncertain terms to back off cause love ain't going to happen here.

Then there are the times when you have a guy text messages like he has an interest in you but you actually like the guy
so, you flirt and drag on the courting rituals.

How is a guy suppose to know if you don't just come out right and say what it is you want???
Hints?? You want a guy with love hearts and stars floating around his head to read your clues and hints???
Your clues can be read the wrong way and he won't stop.

Silly me .. that knee to my groin was just a playful act .. she is actually trying to get physical closer to me ..
Say it with words. You're nice but I do not like you in that way. So please go away.
Don't ask to be friends ... that only gives hope of a change of heart ... men are just dumb when it comes to love

Okay, so I'm going to do what you guys are telling me to..

I don't know for sure if he likes me or not, but I'm going to tell him to back off anyway. Good idea? Would it be awkward... say if I was wrong the whole time?


@AVISITOR:
Yes, I would like to remain friends. If you didn't read my post before this one, I met those guys as friends for a while before I started suspecting that they like me. Also, we have mutual friends.. That's why I don't want to break the friendship.

Telling a guy to back off will make him defensive and deny any emotional involvement that will make it awkward
Be prepared with something like "That's good. I've had my share of stalkers. You know a girl can't be too careful."

Hmm, you still want to be friends??
Then the guy, if he has feelings for you, will have hope that you will have a change of heart.
Sometimes it is nice to have someone care about you
But, giving someone hope is much like leading someone on .. even when it isn't your intention

You can be civil but you can't be buddy buddy
Which leads me to Friends with Benefit ... it never works cuz one or the other will develop feelings
It is the nature of the beast.

Speaking of beast .. Having dog breath can help put someone off indirectly and you still can remain friends ..