If you met a great girl or guy who ticked most boxes aside from in the looks department, would you let that stop you dating/marrying them? Would you fear for your future children's looks

This isn't too serious people

I go for personality more than look. As long as he is alright or cute to me then it is ok.

they can't be repulsive. they have to be at least a 6/10.

Would this person be below average as in a 4? Then no. Minimum I would go for is a 5.5, just a hair above average.

I go for characteristic and knowledge and wisdom and humor.

When a person is too handsome/beautiful there will be more competition and jealousy. Would u want to date someone who is beautiful and is the center of attention every where you go? Or would you want to date someone average who is just cute to you?

I've never been the jealous type so I'd want a gorgeous girl because I've always liked making other guys jealous. When guys look at my girl, I dont get jealous or angry, I get a smirk on my face knowing they want what I have.

That is a first. Most guys I know are the jealous type. Haha!

Not really important. Of course they can't look like Sloth from the Goonies, but I've never really liked guys that were really really good looking. I've never fallen for the model type guys, or the guys that all the girls in school had crushes on. I like normal looking, next door neighbor guys. Though I've dated some guys most girls would consider ugly, and I did consider unatractive at the start, their personality made them attractive to me. Their looks grew on me. So yeah. Looks aren't all that important. I give most guys a chance if they're nice and have a personality that I like.

It's harder for me to like unattractive people. But then again, the most attractive people can look so disgusting with the worst personality.


I think humans are naturally attracted to beauty, look at our past. We built the most amazing things and created the most beautiful clothes and landmarks. One thing's for sure, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder..

Anyways, back to the main topic...

I'd rather have looks 60% and personality 40%. I wouldn't want someone too perfect, because honestly, how hard would it be to be compared to someone perfect? What I consider unattractive is dirty, unkempt, bad hair, etc,

i dunno man, wouldn't that make her a trophy to you then?

besides, jealousy is part of human nature. classic example: the girl you've been mad crushin' on is turning her eye to another rival...

the way i see it, looks are somewhat important in the sense that it is immediate; you see a person's looks right away and then his/her personality afterwards.

look at the animal world, doesn't the female peacock choose the male peacock that has the most attractive show of feathers? how different are humans from this?

so in short: looks are the "hook" while personality seals the "deal"

I guess you could look at it as a trophy type deal from an outsiders point of view. I would be proud to have such a beautiful g/f, thats how I would think of it, if others think that she's just a trophy to me as in I only prize her looks then no, I would have to say theres a difference between pride in having a pretty g/f and liking a girl only for her looks. I would not go out with a girl who was gorgeous but had no personality.

The topic was about looks so I focused on that, dont think that thats all that I go for.

People looking at my girl is totally different from them hitting on her. They can look all they want even if she's wearing something really revealing and sexy, I dont give a $hit. Just dont be disrespecting me by hitting on her knowing I'm right there. Thats when jealousy will turn into a physical confrontation. I never stated I was devoid of jealousy, its just less things make me jealous than might other men as I usually trust my g/f.

And yes I have always believed the saying "Her looks is what attracts me but her personality is what makes me stay."

Looks are fine ... but how long can you just stare at another person?
Forever .. if she is really fine ...

I've taken many girls out on dates .. some were blind dates and some were just dogs.
The only thing that was important was if I felt comfortable with her and was I attracted to her???

No attraction means no "chemistry". That spells the end of any romantic relationship.
Friendship ... thats just fine ... I like having friends ...

I'd rather go for the trustworthy 7-8.5 than having to worry about the 9-dime piece that you have to worry about. I think it's pretty much true to say that all the 9's and 10's out there have plenty of other options, not saying that the 7-8.5's don't. You guys get what I mean.

Most parents are very happy with good looking kids who are healthy, and generally good kids. Most parents dont need their kids to be super smart or talented or anything.

People are not born evil, so not all good looking people are mean.

Lately looks don't matter to me as much as they used to. But yeah there are certain looks I wouldn't go for at all

id rather go for someone who has decent attitute..
than dating someone who looks like a million dollar yet he's major @$$.big turn off

no fat chicks

as important as personality is... I would be lying if i said looks is not important at all. As long as she is cute I'm ok with it. Like the other members said.. I don't need a dime chick.. an avg chick is fine.. but if a girl is WAY overweight or in the 1-3 range on a scale of 1-10.. then probably not. lol

I Im going to follow in Ben's footsteps. lol

A 6-8 would do good on a scale of 10.
Hot girls are usually b!tches....

well being the hideous troll that I am, not all that important.

but it's rather amazing how a beautiful person can turn into a gargoyle once they open their mouth.

and someone who's rather homely can turn into the most beautiful person on earth.

it's all perspective I think.

An attractive girl is mandatory.

Looks arent that important to me, as long as she has a great personality and loves me.

Lets face it ... the better the girl looks, the better you feel about being her man (vice-sa verse-sa)
Looks are important but it isn't the only criteria we judge people by ... however
A pretty girl may be able to cut in line for a movie or to buy coffee (especially if a guy is in line)
And let's not forget who gets into those night clubs, only the pretty ones get in easily
So, do we look down upon those who are willing to give a pretty one room in front of them in a line???
Or do we scream at the man at the door to let us in and not those pretty biatches???

Looks are important ... even if you don't admit it

it's ok untill the looking turns into the touching then the smirk turns into a twitch.

thats because hotness is only temporary.

Most people do have it right looks are pretty important. Your brain needs to like that person in many different ways and looks is on the list. I think though if a freak accident were to happen to this person I hope the person that they were with would stick around with them..but I'm pretty sure they will run and hide.

I just have to be attracted to him and we have to share common interests.
So my guy does'nt have to be a model, I dont really look at models.
If he's not exactly built the way he thinks he should be or if his teeth are not perfect , it doesnt bother me, though he should have good hygene and be as smart as me, also class like me.
My kids are cute anyway because Im cute and because Im only attracted to naturaly attractive match anyway.

You have kids, Sisi? You are a mom?

Looks are just one component that affect personal attraction. Without it the whole package is not complete and no matter how good the personality is the jump from the friend to lover ladder will not happen.

I was going to post, saying that if I am attracted to his personality than looks wouldn't matter....but as I think about it further, I think that's not true. Looking at my past the guys I have been attracted to were atleast cute to me. But I think the majority of ppl are atleast cute or average and "ugly" only being a small amount of the population, so unless someone has real high standards, most ppl won't have probs finding a S.O. because of their looks.

Looks are very important. I don't treat someone better because they're good looking or treat someone worse because they're ugly. But everyone gets affected by people's looks. People who say only personality counts are fairies who don't even know what they're talking about. You go to a club and bar you look for hot chick or guy depending on what you want, you don't look for personality. Hello? Yes, for long term relationships and marriage personality does become important more and more as time goes on but that relationships only get that far if you find the person physically attractive in the first place. But just flat out saying 'looks don't matter it's what's inside that counts'. Wake up, get sober, this isn't the 70's world peace, smoking pot, we love the world era. Let's get real here.

you couldn't be more wrong.

to you maybe. if you are looking for someone to be in a relationship at a bar or a club, then yeah, maybe that's what you look for. if you are looking for superficial relationship, why not throw in alcohol and/or darkness into the mix. I can confidently say the looks REALLY don't matter. at the same time, I would guarantee that woman I am dating now is easily hotter than any in your wildest dreams.

not that it matters of course

I think no matter how ood looking a person is, if they dont have a good personality then it's very important missing peice and then they look ugly . ^_^
They just dont know how to carry that pearly white teeth and nice a$$ haha

@ yimming2000
yes Im a happy mommy:) I have a little girl.

So what about you yimming? Are you a teenager or adult how old are you?

Thanks to all those who said looks are important. That is a HONEST response and a positive attitude for good self-esteem and confidence. Chemistry between two people is key also. You could be Adam and Eve for what it's worth and the most beautiful couple in the world but if you don't have that "je nes cest qua"....that certain something....that, "i don't know what" about her/him.....then couples quickly lose interest in each other and lose that love.

But back on topic, you have to desire beauty to have that in your life and experience being with a beautiful woman and have that confidence to win a beautiful woman's heart. The product of a couples love will be beautiful as the end result. Who can't say all children are not beautiful? It's when they grow up, is when they get ugly!

ok but Iv seen some beautiful people with roughten personalitys, I mean their frowns outshow their gloss and makeup.
Sexual attraction and chemistry is important but so is personal connections of the heart, if your not connecting then whats the point?
I guess men cant see this?Connecting of the hearts as long as he can connect with her arse!hhmmm.

We disqualify the 'ugly girls' and 'fat girls' or whatever. What's left are the cute and hot girls. From there we look for personality and connection. Just like you shouldn't get a gf/bf based just on looks, I don't think you should base it solely on personality either. You need both. Therefor, the ugly girls are automatically disqualified and the stuck up b!tches who are hot are also disqualified....or at least don't make it past several dates.

That's just honesty there.

I've dated many ugly girls ... once

But, TheStranger speaks the truth.
It doesn't mean those ugly girls weren't nice
Just that there was no connection if I don't feel desire/lust in my heart

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Your trash might be someone else treasure.

I agree, connection can be felt with someone who is not that attractive. I have chose unattractive guys over attractive guys simply because of the connection and that I can have a good conversation with them. No point in dating someone that is attractive if talking to them is like talking to a wall.

superficial, the lot of you.

here is an articles about how you should date uglier guys.
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http://glo.msn.com/relationships/dating-do...6.story?cid=WWR
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My friend Karen is a gorgeous, tall, auburn-haired beauty with measurements that would put Barbie to shame. And although she has her pick of hot guys to choose from, she's currently in a committed relationship with a man who's pushing 5'6", balding and could afford to park 15 pounds.

And she couldn't be happier.

Their pairing is not an anomaly. All one has to do is step out onto the street or flip through a gossip rag to see a great beauty stepping out with her beast. From couples such as J. Lo and Mark Anthony, Beth Ostrosky and Howard Stern, Salman Rushdie, and well, anyone, one thing is clear: Physically-mismatched couples are everywhere.

Sure, these guys have money and power — a trait evolutionary biologists say women place great value on — yet scientists say when not accounting for these factors, these female hotties may be onto something deeper.

A recent study published in the Journal of Family Psychology suggests that for women, dating a less attractive man may result in a happier, more emotionally satisfying relationship.

Researchers from UCLA and the University of Tennessee gathered 82 couples in their mid-twenties who had married in the past year and had been together for almost three years prior, then filmed the couples discussing a personal problem. All the while, a panel of people evaluated who was the better looking individual in each pair. After analyzing the tapes, researchers discovered that in couples where the man was more attractive than the woman, he said often things such as, “This is your problem, you deal with it” whereas the unattractive hubbies were more apt to say things like, “I'm here for you — what do you want me to do? How can I help you?'"

“It's possible that a man who is less attractive than his partner feels so grateful to be with her that he works harder to maintain the relationship, amping up the amount of emotional support and kindness he provides,” says Benjamin R. Karney, Ph.D., a professor of social psychology at UCLA. “Yet a man who is better looking than his partner knows he has lots of other options besides his mate, so he's less committed to providing the emotional support long term relationships need to thrive.”

“In fact, among couples where the husband was the looker, both partners supported each other less,” says Karney. “That implies when the husband disengages emotionally, the wife follows suit. Then no one is happy — it's a vicious cycle.”

Karney chalks up the relationship between a female goddess and a less beautiful man to The Social Exchange Theory: Simply put, people use a cost-benefit analysis when they think about entering or staying in a relationship. So a man might not rival Robert Pattinson in the looks department but if he's willing to please, emotionally engaged, and loyal, a woman will probably overlook his looks when deciding to pursue him. Likewise, if a woman possesses beauty and youth but say, doesn't earn a high income, a man will overlook that in exchange for genetically blessed offspring. Everyone brings something to the party.

And considering there's a shortage of hot guys to go around these days, say researchers at the London School of Economics, the exchange between a lovely and a not-so-lovely works out perfectly. “An evolutionary strategy programmed into our DNA dictates that attractive people have 36 percent greater odds of having a daughter than a son,” says Satoshi Kanazawa Ph.D., a professor of management at the London School of Economics and Political Science. “Due to this evolutionary process and because physical attractiveness is highly heritable, there tends to be more beautiful women in the world than there are beautiful men.”

If nothing else, you may find that your not-so-pretty man brings his A-game in the bedroom. “What I've seen from my clinical practice is that women who are married to men less attractive than them often have happy sex lives most likely because their mate tries harder to please them sexually,” says Bethany Marshall, Ph.D., author of the book Deal Breakers. “And while there's no hard data to support the theory, it makes sense that if an unattractive man has to work harder than a handsome man to stay in his relationship, he must work just as hard in the bedroom.”

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I agree with everything said in this article, except the last paragraph. I don't try harder.

Women and men want different things. Women place much more importance in a man's stability in his finances, his social status and his ability to provide. These traits cannot be maintained or achieved unless the man is a mature intelligent man who has his priorities straight and life on track...aka---personality. Women aren't deeper at all. They just want a means to an end.

Men, however, place more attraction in a woman's appearance physically, the way she she seduces him and her sexuality. This is often associated with cute and hot women and mis-categorized as superficial. But do not mistake this for shallowness...it is only a man's preference. Women who are gold-diggers are no more shallow than men who just want a trophy wife. The normal man, who you accuse of being shallow for wanting beauty, wants an attractive girl but also wants the connection of any normal relationship.

Men want a beautiful woman to love. Women want a providing man to love.

Woman are shallow too we are just not dumb enough to tell you.

My girlfriends and I had discussed this topic before. Most of us concluded that look is not as important as personality, stability, and connection. So yes to most women look is not as important; whereas, men value the physical beauty more.

I sense a lot of BS from the women here. I don't blame the women though, because even they themselves don't know what they want.

Let me tell you what most women want. They want 2 types of guys: a sucker, and a lover.

The sucker is to provide emotional and financial support, and he's the guy who they'll eventually have a family with.

The lover is their boy toy. They sleep with the lover when they get bored of the sucker.

For the sucker, looks aren't important. The ability to connect and sympathize, as well as the ability to be a good father, is important here.

For the lover, looks and the ability to sweet talk is everything. You need to make them forget about their own lives. Provide an escape from the daily torture routine of taking care of the BF or husband/kids. Nothing else matters.

Not every woman has the goods to get both, so they settle for the sucker. That's generally the smarter move. Because once a woman passes 30, her value as a mate quickly goes down. At some point, women lose even the ability to get a sucker. At that point, they might settle for the third type of men: the loser.

that's quite an analysis.

I am sure the sluts you hang with fits this bill really well.

and the last paragraph, yeah, I've seen this happening. and sometimes they can't even get the loser.
because by that age, the loser smartens up, and get with the hottie that are smart enough to seek out a nice guy... I mean "loser"...

then they settle for litter of kitties. and they deserve it. LOL

Men don't want a woman who can provide for him and women don't want just a man who is more beautiful than she is. I think this guys=shallow and women=true is all bull$hit. This is how we operate socially and as pairings. We look for different things for specific reasons but we both want ultimately the same thing: a good personality that we can connect with. We just have different initial attraction based on basic wants whether it be money or looks.

I don't really think men see beauty, personality and connection so much as a hierarchy but a shopping list. We just want all three. My lemonade has to have water, lemon and sugar!

There's less chance a guy is thinking "I want an ugly girl but who has a good personality and connection with me." That's what the friend zone is for.

Some good looking women with good education can make their own money and dont need ugly rich men to provide for them.

Some good looking men with no debt, and are low maitenance can save money and take women on adventures.

That is actually true. Lol. My friend told me the same thing. She said she wants to be the center of attention in the relationship when they go out, and not her bf.

LOL, that's pretty harsh, but funny.

yah, some girls I hang out with can be somewhat slutty at times. But hey, I don't mind cuz I don't date them, plus they're fun to hang out with. I just feel sorry for the suckers they date sometimes. The guys are very decent guys, but some women are never satisfied.

and in the last paragraph by loser I don't mean a nice guy. I mean a real loser. Nice guys are the suckers, not losers.