It was a silent, dusky winter night, and I was about to play some hide the todger with a woman who I had been engaging in intimate relations for quite some time. We'd been getting progressively dirtier, rough and tumble in all sorts of situations, parks, swimming pools, movie theatres, trampolines, trash cans etc. Life was good. I was young, she had large t!t$ and all was going swimmingly.
Anyway, we join our hero at his porkstress's parent's house. The parents had fu-ked off for the weekend leaving us both in charge, and in a situation to engage in copious amounts of mucky business. I'd started to cook dinner after a hard day of watching TV and parking the meat sword into the wizard's sleeve, as I needed sustenance and a break.
So there I was, cooking a delicious meal, I believe some form of pasta and sauce combination the likes of which would provide a hefty supply of glycogen with which to fuel future naughty antics when I see something out of the corner of my eye. I turn around and see the woman at the time wearing a full corset, small underwear set and long black stockings, with heels, holding a riding crop. She takes the riding crop and teases the tip of my todger with it and then brings the crop to her mouth. She smashes the crop on the table and screams: "YOU! Pants off, now!". I, in a purely instinctive combination of arousal and fear follow her instructions to the letter. She uses the crop to fondle my genitals through the material of my underwear. "Bedroom", she taps me lightly on the testicles "We have work to do".
I run down the hallway in utter glee at the thought of a solid session of spooge sharing, when she stops, double takes and screams "TURN OFF THE STOVE". Instantly snapped out of it, I listen to what the crazy woman says. I run back to the kitchen and turn the stove off, becoming slightly wilted at the abysmal state of my cooking. "GET BACK HERE *thwack*" I hear outside in the corner, so I run, my lovegun again returning to a position of attention. I skid down the hallway on my socks (Yeah shut the fu-k up, I forgot), basically colliding straight into her, we're dazed for a second but this daze is rapidly replaced with a very energetic game of 'try to strangle the other person via the inside of their throat'. We stumble around, hands scrabbling over one another like rapist squid.
She grabs me by the scruff of my shirt and slams me against the wall, looking deeply into my eyes "I've got good news for you". She Smiled. I smiled. "What?" I enquired. In a swift move she removes one hand from my shirt and thrusts a few digits deeply into her furry cup, removing them and gently prodding my mouth" "You don't need to fu-k about and pretend you're any good at foreplay".
fu-king brilliant.
She spins me around from the wall and throws me on the bed. She motions slowly towards her underwear and nods at me to do the same. I tear my useless boxers off as rapidly as I can, nearly falling off the bed in pure excitement. She gently and sexily removes the very very tiny g-string, delicately falls on top of me, kisses me and initiates docking procedures.
~wavy time lines here~
After what could only be described as hours (Later checked for time it was about 40 minutes) and many different positions we're back in the cowgirl, she's straddling me, pounding me like a leb in a gang brawl. We're entering swiftly into vinegar strokes territory, and both of us are determined as a punishment to the other to get there first. I'm lost in a haze of hair, overwhelming cleavage flowing out of the top of her corset and the slowly building crescendo of an orgasm when she grabs my hair and her beautiful brown eyes look deeply into mine. "I'm... I'm... I'M COMING MR FRODO". Signature powerful clench and arched back. Both the sentence and the proceeding moans said in a bang on welsh accent.
I was so shocked I didn't know whether to laugh or cry or die right there. It turns out my body made the decision for me. I came. I am never going to live this down.