Hey guys I just came back from friends wedding and I'm still spinning from all the Remmy Martin. So far this has been the smallest Viet wedding I been to. There was only about 50-75 people in the recpetion. While I was there, I over heard alot of people looking down on the wedding because it was smaller. Is it in Vietnamese culture to have large weddings and are smaller ones looked down upon?

Bigger tends to be better.

In Vietnam i think the government has made some complaints on how big and noisy the funerals and weddings were in Vietnam, and that it could possibly give us Viets an overall bad reputation of being loud and noisy.

I don't see the problem in being big or small though. Small, you can have an intimate wedding with family and friends (what i prefer actually), big, you can invite everyone you know, even those you barely know the name of (to show off your wedding's grandeur i guess, the bigger, the stronger the show of wealth i guess).

Yeah Viets like to show off... big time

The bigger the better. It reflects your status and wealth. Westerners, on the contrary prefer small and private weddings with only very close family and friends attending.

i been to a wedding. it was pretty neat. we had this sign outside our doorway. it was an arch. it read something. something like "just been kissed". eh, then we went to the groom's hizouse and brought out these things wrapped in red plastic. then there was a big roasted pig that needed some carryin. then church. then party at a reserved place. it was so surreal

They would even be loud at funerals. WOW
im viet and i've never been to a loud funeral. is that something they do at Vietnam?

Ummm the words on the arch (sometimes made out of palm tree leaves, sometimes banana leaves) either say "Tân Hôn" or "Vu Quy". Tân Hôn means "newly wed", not "just been kissed". "Hon" in this sense mean marriage as in "Hôn Nhân", not as in "Hôn Hít". "Vu Quy" means "leaving for the husband's home". So "Tân Hôn" arch usually is set up at the groom's home and "Vu Quy" is set up at the bride's house.

But anyway I love Vietnamese weddings. Yummy food and stupid Asian entertainment. LOL

Yeah those crab ball things are bomb!

i like it when people get drunk and they start singing on stage


I think it's cool that Vietnamese tradition is to bring $50. I know at my wedding, my non viet guests better know to come with money!

Vietnamese are very practical people. They want money to buy stuffs they want for their new love nest, not some useless presents you think they'll like.

Here in Australia, it is a norm for the guest to give at least $100 for one person and around $150-$200 for a couple with children. My family friend's daughter's wedding to an Aussie guy cost $5000-7000 and she had to pay for her daughter's wedding. The stingy Aussie side only gave them $1000.

Hehe. Vietnamese Family in Australia tend to try and make there wedding as big as posible, becasue of some reason which has being illustrated above.
How ever let me just add, some people are just tie asses and serve low quality food while getting money of the people that goes to the wedding. As such they also make profits out of it. Seriously, some people are just sad.......

The bigger the better. It's a reflection of your status within the society.

It is not a culture per se but is is rather from the mindset of those who think that bigger is always better and those of the likes who really look down upon the smaller ones. As far as I know from personal experiences, the wedding invited guests are mostly the friends and associates from the parents as oppose to the kids'. When you make out a list of invites, your parents also has the saying. If they forget to invite someone, it is considered as turning their back on their friends. So sometime it is really hard to leave out anyone's name from the list. To be frankly honest, the bigger the wedding, the heavier the burden for the couple and perhaps the families to prepare and deal with. Good luck to those who want it big
I don't know *shrug* maybe it is the conspiracy of the parents to make it big and burden for the couple so that they think twice before a divorce. Who want to go through the same torture again rite? :P just a theory

My parents want to invite all their friends to my wedding too, but I dont know most of those people


The more people attend the better, it just mean that more people walk them to their new lives... kinda.. and, the funeral music are really loud.

^Hy, you're about 19 and planning to marry already ?

^ planning can take years you know

Oh no, she's getting married?! HY, DON'T LEAVE ME!!!

^yep! that is parenting alright we're all soon find out too

awwww....don't cry! I'll take care of her for you. In fact, if you want, I will kiss her for you

EDIT: oh shoot! double post
Hy! you're the greatest! you're the best !!! please go easy on the warn button

Hey IYIiDWeSt_T.S.I3, Colordevil, and cuong
Did I ever say that you guys are a bunch of really cool guys !?
What I like most from y'all is that: forgiving, tolerant nature

I'll disarm you just like Bush disarmed Saddam!

Oh!? you meant like this...



or this..


or maybe this...

Hy khong ngo la toi bao nhieu nguoi muon Hy bi o gia

^ Hy ơi, ở giá mới dui chứ ... có chồng rùi ảnh không cho lên mạng chơi đâu

Heh, I'll gladly take donations for our wedding lol.
I dont' care what happens I'm not going over 10 grand for this thing..

We are trying to plan ours out for next year and this is my first experience with a Vietnamese wedding. Last I checked our guest list was over 200 with only about 30 from me! She said the same thing about it being disrespectful if we don’t invite all the people her family wants to be there. Soooo at probably $45 a head we will most definitely be dropping a load of cash on this deal!

We started looking at the 8 course meals last night! They looked great!! So many different dishes to chose from!

All in all it’s pretty exciting! We are fusing American and Vietnamese customs together so it should be a very interesting wedding!


I went to my Future brother in laws engagement party the other week…with the pig and dishes, etc.. That was a nice event. I wish more Americans could experience traditions like that.

hey im gonna go to one this saturday

Bring some containers and plastics and take all the left over food home. Don't worry its only natural.